The 7 Attitudes Needed in Vocational Discernment: Following the Ignatian Way

As I probed further into my own understanding of how I showed up with people on a daily basis in vocational discernment work, I began to realize the unique nature of how I got here. It was three-fold.

I had been gifted wise people on my developmental journey through seminary, through organizational affiliation and professional helpers who spoke this language. I read a lot of supporting material through wise literary mentors like Henri Nouwen, Parker Palmer, St. Ignatius of Loyola, Bobby Clinton and Terry Walling.

But quite possibly my best teacher was the many years I had lived making decisions without wise input. Those were years (decades) of painful learnings where I tried to go it alone.  I learned what not to do and how I would do it different.

Since that time, I have sought for hindsight to guide my insight. Asking questions like, “What would I have done differently given what I know now? and “Who would I have liked alongside of me?” This last transition gave me an opportunity to apply that hard learning.

When faced with the decision to return from overseas assignment after 11 years, I experienced not one, or even two, but three intentional discernment times over the course of 3 years with trusted mentors and advisors. Arguably three may have been overkill, but given the nature and complexity of the decisions, each one illuminated the path directly in front of me in a way I needed to discern. As well, this repetition provided unified confirmation that I personally needed during a hard season of learning to trust my voice. I needed that space to surrender, listen, wait, and trust.   

What is vocational discernment

It wasn’t until I put myself in the position of those who we work with  - people in places of confusion, stuckness, isolation and hopelessness - that I began to really unpack how this is done. I was asked to unpack questions like, “What does vocational discernment actually look like?” “What is the difference between decision-making and discernment?” “How does one best posture themselves to receive in this time?” “What do the stages of discernment look like?” And, “How do you do this in community?”

While each of those questions needs addressing, worth noting of first priority is that creating space in your life, through monastic practices like silence, solitude, contemplation and centeredness will greatly aide in this process. Noise, busyness, and a scattered mind on the other hand will distract. An intentional sabbatical or set-aside period of time helps to create boundaries for those who suffer from decision-making fatigue.

St. Ignatius of Loyola talks often about indifference and attachment, especially as they relate to decision-making and discernment. He states that there are 7 qualities or attitudes required of us to wholly engage in a discernment process 1.) openness 2.) courage 3.) generosity 4.) interior freedom 5.) habit of prayerful reflection 6.) having one’s priorities straight 7.) not confusing the ends with the means. How we posture ourselves directly determines how we will receive.  

7 attitudes in a discernment and decision-making process  

1.     An attitude of surrender and openness with the trajectory of our life path being held with open hands willing to receive or to let go of whatever may come. We see many who want the benefits of intentional time, without actually releasing their ideas and plans to what might come. Admittedly this can be scary, we see our unhealthy attachments to power in a position, security of job, organizational ties, and all that we’ve worked hard for, being put in an Isaac & Abraham, all-things-on-the-altar request.

2.     We remind those we work with that this is bold and courageous work and the next necessary posture. It requires us to stay faithful and patient to believe and trust that God has a perfect plan for our lives. It requires boldness to keep showing up to the hard conversations, to the difficult relationships, to our time with God.  

3.     Directly linked, our hearts need to be open and generous, putting no conditions on what God might be asking of us. It will likely require seeing others as first and ourselves as second. The posture of generosity allows us to enter into a place of hospitality. Hosting our creator in our midst, willing to co-create but also willing to wait. Hosting others’ needs and concerns before our own.

4.     The ignatian exerices often talk about creating a place of interior freedom. That space inside of ourselves that is often filled with many other attachments – people, material possessions, and other idols. We must be willing to do what God asks of us, in a posture of release of what we might normally strive towards.

5.     A habit of prayerful reflection. Utilizing spiritual habits and disciplines that create an ability to hear God’s voice, alongside of trusted others. Covering the vocational discernment in prayer, repeatedly giving it to the Lord.

6.     The posture of having one’s priorities straight, asking, “Not my will but yours be done”. Here we are not allowing the things of this world to deter us from God’s best plan for our life but rather keeping our focus on what is good, pure, lovely, excellent, and praiseworthy. Asking for His priorities to be our priorities.  

7.     And finally asking for God to reveal to us where we confuse the ends with the means. Not putting God in second place, and our desires in first, but rather the other way around. Asking that our desires align with God’s in humility and sacrifice.

This is risky and vulnerable work that few fully enter into. And understandably these 7 postures overlap. What we most often see with those entering into discernment is that they are challenged with one or two, not bad things, but to really release something or someone in the process that is holding them back.

For Deeper Reflection:

How long have you been considering a shift in your own life?

What is holding you back?

What do you fear is the worst that will happen?

The 5 Phases of Vocational Discernment: Taking Steps Towards a Major Life Transition

While we are used to making choices every day, we may find ourselves paralyzed or change resistant on the whole with a major life transition. The cluster of decisions involved in decision-making can cause a sense of emotional flooding or overload. As a response, we can utilize these Ignatian principles as an over-arching guide and invitation to our inner world by accepting that they are needed and allow us to enter in. However, we must live into an active posture externally for change to take place.  

How does one live into Vocation Discernment and Decision-making?

The steps to discernment are similar to decision-making and follow a similar pattern, but uniquely flow from one to the next in correlation to the attitudes of discernment. Vocational discernment includes decision-making but only as one element of it. The 5 phases of vocational discernment include: Awareness of the need for change, information gathering, reflection, decision-making, and action.

1.     Awareness of the Need for Change – a crisis may have necessitated the change; or you may be entering in preventatively (our awareness came much sooner than the ability to do anything about it because we needed more information)…when cross-cultural workers experience a shift or one thing changes, usually there is a ripple effect where everything changes. This awareness can become quite disruptive!

2.     The Information Gathering Phase – What are my options? What are the factors in this decision? For global workers this is one of the most complex phases and where we find ourselves working with individuals and couples. We recognize that unique to those in a foreign context and especially those in ministry jobs, answering these questions will have ripple effects on every area of life. If one is disgruntled with a boss or a co-worker, shifting organizations is not a simple solution. This one answer may act as a spark that sets off a forest fire. Having confidential, outside input at this phase is incredibly beneficial.

3.     Reflection – In tandem with the previous phase we experience a deeper examination of the information gathered matched with self-awareness and a listening to the Holy Spirit. Questions like, “What do I like? What do I need? What are my dreams for the future? What are my limitations? Where have I let self-limiting beliefs hold me back?” When vocational formation and spiritual formation meet, there is an opportunity for a creative, likely messy and always beautiful expression of one’s unique self to arise. This is where we often meet with people in The Art of Transition or Life Planning process.

4.     Decision-Making – after accepting the need for change, gathering information and taking a concerted time for reflection, comes the decision. This is usually the shortest period of time as the prior investment pays off! If the previous steps are taken, this one comes with clarity and often a deep sense of relief! We encourage careful thought as to who will take part in the final decision. We’ve often used the phrase, “He/she has a voice, but not a vote.” Clearly there is more to discuss around who’s voice has a vote in your transition.

5.     Action  - Implementing the decision is the final step. We call this the roll-out. The action steps need to be carefully thought through including who needs to know what and when. In order to avoid relational fallout, considering those who will be most effected by your decision and how they might respond is key. In addition to the timing of a roll-out, it is important to think through the narrative of what you share and with whom.  

One final point of clarification. Discernment is open to all who seek it. While some may have the strengths and skills of listening; or have had experience working with career development, the spiritual gift of discernment, I believe is a gift from the Lord. Ask for it in this unique time! Ask for it for others listening to God on your behalf. Ask for the postures we discussed above:  1.) openness 2.) courage 3.) generosity 4.) interior freedom 5.) habit of prayerful reflection 6.) having one’s priorities straight 7.) not confusing the ends with the means. Remember, these are not instinctive, but rather are cultivated through direct relationship with the Lord and are fruit that is accessible from our leaning into that relationship.

Some may feel as I did, that seeking other’s in times of discernment points to a lacking in your own life. On the contrary, it is a unique opportunity to utilize the greater body of believers. You can possess both the gift of discernment and listen to wise council at the same time. This is counter-cultural work that will likely hold value tension for many.  Accepting the feedback of trusted voices is wise, enhances one’s ability to hear and make the necessary next steps as the unity and peace come.

Find a group of trusted, caring, and confidential people who get this and can listen on your behalf to the life that God is inviting you into and trust that He has your ultimate best interest in this process!

For reflection:

Think back to a time when you included trusted voices in your decisions, what was different about that decision compared to others?

When did you wish you would have listened to others, but didn’t?

What are some unhealthy attachments that keep you from entering into the attitudes of discernment?