Responding to a Crisis: What is my role to fill?

As we see the great need of the Ukrainian/Russia war, we consider - What is the most sacrificial and useful way that I can be of help and give in to the feelings of hopelessness or desensitization in this or any other global crisis? 

 

These are the relevant questions that we’re asking ourselves. Especially as we have recently been asked to take part in crisis debriefing aide workers and refugees fleeing the Ukraine. 

 

Why are we desiring to respond to this crisis?

 

While our hearts bleed as mental health professionals and caregivers, we recognize our limitations in the form of past burnout. There are sadly innumerable crisis that we could respond to. We’ve been reminded that having a few “harbor lights” on, or a grid to work through, will help best determine if/when we say the solid yes to serving in a crisis.* 

 

1.     Was I/were we specifically asked to participate and offer help?

2.     Is my/our expertise best used here?

3.     Is my family on board with this commitment?

4.     When I pray about it, did God say a clear no or not now? (A yes, doesn’t always come in a crisis, a clear no can sometimes be a stronger indication).

5.     Do I have an ongoing set of relationships on the ground that others can connect to?

6.     Will our service or time take away from anyone else that could be doing what I can do?

 

In summary, we answered yes to the first 5 and no to the last question. We were asked, have connections on the ground, have been uniquely trained in this work and have been reminded of an incredible need. 

 

With a request for all hands on deck with nearly 2 million refugees expected in the coming weeks, I am aware that I am able to use peer debriefing to aide workers and refugees that have experienced horrific injustice and violence as a service to many in need. As well, I do not have to be a part of the infrastructure of creating it, I can simply do the work I’m trained in as a response to the great need. And finally, I can do the bulk of the work virtually.

 

Why debrief?

Debriefing is a form of listening to someone’s story, normalizing it, validating it, and reassuring them that they are not alone. It is a way of providing an initial or interim support system, especially when other support systems are lacking or non-existent. Debriefing is a set aside period of time for listening, for the purpose of supporting the person in need, caring about them and their unique story. 

 

When a debrief is done well, it defuses intense feelings that can get stuck in the body and show up in many harmful ways. It allows for a sharing of a burden of what can feel chaotic and overwhelming leading to other mental health problems. A debrief can help to end isolation and promote connection. It also can allow for an opportunity for growth. 

 

It can also serve as an opportunity for grounding one’s nervous system, taking them from a continual fight, flight or freeze mental state to one of stability and safety. 

 

What will debriefing global workers or refugees coming out of the Ukraine look like? 

 

We are working in partnership with other reputable organizations that are on the ground in Romania, Poland and other parts of Eastern Europe. When these organizations have deemed the work necessary and most advantageous (out of harm, long-term benefits), we will begin to offer ourselves and our service within a limited number of hours/week. The benefit of working alongside of another organization is multi-fold. Being available on a team, having supervisors who I can debrief with myself, and having the infrastructure for systematizing the large quantity in need. 

 

With such a large need, when will you stop serving in this capacity?

 

We have no idea. Again, the benefit of working within a larger structure and organization is that we are not the one’s solely responsible for all the needs and debriefing care. We will continue to re-evaluate our ability to serve well as the demands come in. We will have to reinforce good self-care and boundaries, as well. We will continue to evaluate our capacity to serve well, given the grid mentioned above. And we will have to be in concerted prayer about our limitations.

 

How can I be of help?

 

As we ask, what is the most sacrificial way we can respond, we ask you to consider the same. Here are several ways you may be of help:

 

Financial: In order for us to put down other work, we need to access an emergency fund for this type of work. Several thousands of dollars are needed (depending on the length of time that this will go on for). We have created a scholarship/emergency fund that we would draw these funds out of to do this type of work. We trust that if we are to do this work, the money will be provided. You can use this giving link & choose scholarship/emergency fund.

 

Debriefing: If you are a trained debriefer, reach out. We’d love to utilize your skills

 

Administrative: While attending to a crisis, other things will slip through the cracks. This is where the work could continue on if we had other’s hands on deck with The Way Between.

 

Go: While the immediate need is not to be in person taking up space in beds and with limited supplies. In the coming days, there will inevitably be larger needs. Construction for housing, food, childcare, trauma debriefing and in person care. We are connecting with other global workers who are on the ground and know of these needs. Reach out if this is of interest to you.

 

Prayer: In the wake of a crisis of this size, we are in greatest need of your prayer covering. 

 

Connect us with others who may be asking the same questions – how can I help. 

 

Please pray about and consider your part in any crisis. Maybe this isn’t the one you respond to. But if it is, consider how you can best be used.

 

 

*Thanks to James Harrington at The Uganda Water Project for shedding light on this for me.

 

 

Decision-Making Fatigue: 6 Unique Categories of Consideration for Global Workers

…And I chose the path less traveled

For major life decisions there are 6 major categories of consideration for Cross-cultural Workers. (No wonder these decisions feel so weighty!)

When asked to make a decision about lunch at Subway, I saw the looks of overwhelm in my British friend’s eyes. This was 2002 and her first time in a Subway sandwich shop. Thanks to globalization it came to her backyard. She had never before encountered the barrage of choices that were presented before her over a simple sandwich. I caught the looks of bewilderment at each set of questions - which type of bread? Which type of meat? Cheese or no cheese? Toppings? Sauces? Chips? Drink? Dessert? By the time she had gone through the line she looked exhausted! The process, when considered from an outside perspective appears to be one of slow torture; Almost a wearing down to throw your money at whatever is easiest to escape the pain of decision-making. It appeared she had made no short of 57 decision in 5 minutes flat (give or take a few!) And all before attending to her low-blood-sugar-starved brain…slow-torture.

We have our choice-driven culture to thank for the plethora of options presented to us around every corner! Isn’t this the average decision-making scenario for so many of us…just for a simple lunch? Trivial decisions regarding lunch or what to wear call for some of our best decision-making energy. How can we conserve for when it matters most?

I recall Barak Obama, while in office, being quoted for saying he wanted to wear the same style outfit (with slight color change) every day while serving as President, due to the need to conserve his decision-making capacity. Intrigued, and yet simultaneously I resonated on a much smaller scale.

While a simple act such as repeat wardrobe attire can create necessary space, decision-making conservation requires frequent and diligent attention. Especially when in major life transition. As a cross-cultural worker, I remember the overwhelm in the entry and now re-entry and all that is to be considered on an average day. And yet, when it came to discernment of vocational fit and geographical location, the complexity of one decision’s ripple-effects validated the headaches I would feel for days.

Consider this. There are 6 layers of ripples in consideration for major life transition for cross-cultural workers:

Personal Fit (significance)- Where does my deep gladness meet the world’s great need(s)? Is what I’m doing the ultimate contribution role that I am on this earth to engage in? If not, is it on the same track? Is my vocational work life-giving?

Team Fit (operation)- Am I able to live out my ultimate contribution “personal fit” on this particular team? If not, why not?“ “Am I supported in my unique gift mix?”

Organizational Fit (support)- Is this the organization that my values most align with? Where I can be supported? Where I can contribute my voice? Are there other organizations that are doing similar work?

Location Fit (effectiveness) - Is the location I’m working in supporting or inhibiting my call? Is this the place where my calling can best be lived out?

Other considerations:

Collective Marital Fit (relational) - Some may believe that when they exchanged vows, God called them together as a couple to engage in the same organization and team fit. Others have discovered their uniqueness may be best lived out as individuals in two very different settings of work. Especially as cross-cultural workers it is important to ask the previous 4 questions, “Is my spouse living into his/her vocational calling? Are they doing life-giving work?

Family Fit (relational) - Similar to the above. There is disagreement around children being “called” to the same work and what, if any particular role they play. Nonetheless I stand firm in believing that the health and well-being of the kids is top priority. How are my children thriving with my personal fit, team fit, organizational fit, location fit? Do their current needs require a prioritization above my fit or calling?

ONE PIECE AT A TIME

In cross-cultural work, it’s hard to unpack the complexities of the overlapping variables. One has likely given up comforts, home, and culture to do the current work engaged in. If shifting to a new culture versus returning to a previously familiar culture the emphasis of adjustment will be quite different. For example, people don’t often consider a re-entry moving budget when returning, despite assuming you would need one when landing in a new and foreign country. They also might not consider the adjustment phase that is needed for re-entry.

For many, the transition out of - a role, a vocation, an organization, a specific location - can be very clear. For others these layers all mesh together. And for most, where to go next carries the most frightening set of unlimited options. It is recommended to break down the great big elephant of a problem into small pieces - whether which door is closed or which doors are opening.

Consider, for example, the location you are working, as a tusk or a foot or an eye of the elephant. (Too many decisions already?) Okay, it’s an eye! The type of work you are doing as another part. Focusing on each of the pieces one at a time can begin to bring clarity in a much more manageable way as opposed to feeling overwhelm.

These decisions are costly - emotionally, physically and financially. The weight one decision carries, unlike domestic work, effects every SINGLE area of life. This is why it is so complicated and why it requires so much brain power.

Here are a few ways in addition to limiting your wardrobe that may aide in your decision-making power

  1. Make decisions when your brain is fresh. Put off hard decisions until you are at your best.

  2. If making many decisions like organizing your belongings, do this in 2-3 hour periods of time at best

  3. Employ help. Having a third party who is objective and able to understand is invaluable!

  4. Consider others who have done this before. Ask others - what worked? What didn’t? What do you wish you would have done? What did you do well?

  5. Extend yourself grace. Reward yourself when you do make these hard decisions.

  6. Take breaks. Breathing and taking breaks are way under-rated. If only you do one thing do this - BREATHE!

*Painting Pictures of Egypt

I don't want to leave here
I don't want to stay
It feels like pinching to me
Either way
And the places I long for the most
Are the places where I've been
They are calling out to me
Like a long lost friend

It's not about losing faith
It's not about trust
It's all about comfortable
When you move so much
And the place I was wasn't perfect
But I had found a way to live
And it wasn't milk or honey
But then neither is this

Leaving out what it lacks
And the future feels so hard
And I want to go back
But the places they used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
Those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned
The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy
To discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
I am caught between the Promise
And the things I know
Chorus
Bridge: If it comes to quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
And if it comes to quick
I may not recognise it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

*Grateful to Herb and Deb Lamp and their recent introduction to this song.